Today, I'm Radioactive

Title inspired by my favourite band at the moment - Imagine Dragons.

Imagine Dragons 'Night Visions' album cover

As we've been itching further towards that final goal (University) everyone has had to make big choices... Where they want to go and if they want to go. Growing up, I always knew that I wanted to be an actress, I loved acting and the way it can bring you into a new world and you can be away from reality for just that little while. I love the way it made me feel and the way actors as a collective could make someone feel a certain emotion in films or in theatre. But of course, as you grow up, reality hits and the truth is, what I wanted to be was most probably not going to happen. Which is sad.

As much as I love theatres and all that jazz, the only acting that appealed to me was the acting for films. I don't like singing and dancing around all the time nor do I like the acting shows where the actors just talk at you and don't give you a storyline to follow (like a love story or a thriller story). Which, for me, makes it EVEN harder (I mean, who from Luton or anyone we know for that matter is a well known actress? I can't think of anyone...). But then you also have to think... Someone out there has to do it and they can be from anywhere, right?

• Carol Vorderman (granted, not an actress... but still!?) - born in Bedford.
• Geri Halliwell - Hertfordshire 
• Vinnie Jones - Hertfordshire 
• Ed Westwick - Hertfordshire

Actors/actresses have to come from somewhere, and why can't one be from Luton? Understandable that this place isn't exactly the place for dreams... But it doesn't stop you from trying.

Having to make the choice for University is hard enough as it is without having the pressure of parents telling you what's wrong about your choices, arse holes who have the opinion that if you don't go to university then there is no point doing anything (grow up you twats) and those who say that because you go to a university that accepts C or below students, you are stupid (i.e. that's not the case).

I understand that I am not ready for university yet as I am still unsure as to what I want to do and I am not going to force myself into going somewhere when I know I will be unhappy. But from having the chance to step back and breathe, I know that I would still love that shot at trying to become an actress (you probably think I'm crazy) and in the mean time, I will still work on fashion and try everything I can to become noticed in what I really want to do - acting.



Nikita xo
p.s. sorry if this bored you.